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I was at home on that morning. with my now ex husband.
The day changed my life. I was first in shock, then broken hearted over the deaths and losses of all the people. Tears for the families were shed and many prayers were uttered then and in the days to come. I wanted to go to war personally to find the people responsible for such a thing.
One month and fourteen days later, after much soul searching and prayers, I left my husband of thirty two years.
He was and is an alcoholic and drug addict. He abused me verbally and emotionally for all of those years. I raised two daughters for him. I worked my way through nursing school to make a better life for us and he worked hard to destroy everything for which I worked very hard. He spent everything we had on drugs, including the home I bought, on my own. Because of 50-50 laws about marriage, he acquired credit cards, unknown to me and spent until everything was gone. I sold the house to keep from having foreclosure. My girls grew up and left, only after I almost completely lost my sanity. Yet I still stayed with this man because I loved him. That is a brief history of the story.
Sept. 11, 2002, made me wake up and realize that my sisters were right, I needed to get away from this man. I left one morning Oct. 24, 2002, with my clothes and that is all. This was only after I had lived with my mother-in-law for the past year, caring for her at home. She had heart heart and kidney failure, and I am a nurse.
I just looked around one day, and said to myself, my life could end today and I would have had nothing but abuse from this man, and he has never applied himself in any way to try to take care of me or my children. It is the best thing I ever did.
I am a Hospice nurse now, and I see people everyday with problems that cannot be fixed, just like the many families that lost loved ones on the nightmare day, 9-11-02. It gives a perspective on my own problems, however heartbreaking they are to me, mine can be fixed.
That day gave me the courage to escape the life and the man that was killing me slowly. You see, I had no desire to live anymore. Now I do. It is a difficlt struggle everyday to keep that desire. I look around at the suffering, heartaches of those poor people, and I keep going.
I am making a a move, back to my home state, my oldest daughter is going with me, she's going to college and I am going back to school for my RN degree, I am an LPN.
Ironically, a day that took the lives of so many, gave me the courage to finally run for my life. I would have surely taken my own life had I stayed in that place. It changed my life, the way I saw things. I saw my situation as hopeless. I am now recovering from
years of mental and emotional abuse, with the help of God. It gave me the courage to escape. It made me see how quickly life can be taken away without warning. It made see that I needed to flee, stop making that addict able to be who he was. I was an enabler, not realizng it. Now I am free from all of that.
I pray everyday for the survivors of that day. I consider myself to be one of them. Sept. 11, 2002, gave my life back to me. I was one of the lucky ones. I am a survivor.
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